Fun With Costume Shopping
by anubislover
Summary: In honor of Halloween coming upon us, a series of silly drabbles involving Jo, the boys of Supernatural, and Halloween costume shopping. There will be silliness! There will be flirting! There will be sexy costumes! And suggestions will gladly be taken! Now up: Balthazar!
1. Dean

Well, Fall is upon us, and you know what that means…Halloween is coming! So, in honor of the awesomeness that is this holiday, I have decided to write drabbles about the best part—costumes! All will star Jo and a male _Supernatural_ character shopping for costumes. They will be short! They will be silly! They will likely be flirty! I know it sounds dull, but I'll be doing my best to make it entertaining. Mainly because female costumes are so unbelievably slutty nowadays that I had to make fun of them a bit (I've worn them myself, so I'm making fun of myself here too!). Hope you all at least get a chuckle out of them! And if you like the idea, please check out the author's note at the end.

First up: Dean Winchester.

Disclaimer: Don't own, but I will be getting _Supernatural: Season 5_ on DVD within the next week or so! Yay!

XXX

"Slutty nurse."

"No."

"Slutty schoolgirl."

"No."

"Slutty vampire."

"No!"

"Slutty—"

"Dean, I swear to God, if you use the word "slutty" one more time I'm going to clock you so hard Sam will feel it!" Jo growled, digging through the racks of costumes.

Dean thought for a moment. "Playboy bunny?" He barely dodged the fist that came flying at him. "What? I didn't say slutty."

The blonde woman glared at him. "I'm serious, Dean-o. If you want to keep that pretty face of yours you'll knock it off."

"Oh come on! Girls in sexy costumes are the best part of Halloween!" he whined.

She cocked her head. "Better than the candy?"

"Well, ok, but they're still a close second."

Jo rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Hey, what are you going as?"

Dean puffed up his chest proudly. "Woody from _Toy Story_." He frowned when he saw her attempt to stifle a laugh. "Hey, cowboys are awesome, and Woody's the man—er, toy."

As much as she liked the movie, Jo couldn't resist the chance to mess with the oldest Winchester. "So you're going as a doll?"

"He's not a doll!"

"Sure he's not. He's just an action figure made of cloth."

Dean paused, trying to come up with a comeback. "Shut up!"

She chuckled, then got an idea. Quickly searching through the heaps of costumes, she finally managed to find the exact one she was looking for. She grabbed the pouting Dean's wrist and dragged him over to the changing rooms.

"Wait here and tell me what you think." And with that, she disappeared behind the curtain.

A few minutes later, Jo emerged, dressed to the nines in a sexy, frilly, pink polka-dotted Bo Peep costume, complete with a matching bonnet and oversized shepherd's crook. She smiled saucily at Dean's dumbfounded stare, pulling him closer with the crook. "Well, Sheriff? Think you can help me find my sheep?"

Dean's grin was a mile wide. Now that's more like it! He wrapped his arm around her waist. "Why certainly, ma'am."

She smiled wider, tapping him playfully on the nose. "Aw, you're such a doll!"

"Oh, shut up!"

XXX

Well, I had fun with that. I've got a bunch more of these planned, all involving Jo and one other guy picking out costumes. If you want, you can send me suggestions of what guy you want to see her shopping with in later drabbles. Just put in the review which guy, a costume, and if you want, a prompt line. It can be either the guy helping her pick a costume, or vice-versa. Like I said, I've already got a few of these planned out, but if I like the suggestion I will happily use a guy twice! Let me know what you think in a review!

Next up is Sam!


	2. Sam

I had a lot of fun doing this one. In this one, Jo's costume isn't quite as slutty, but I can totally see her pulling it off.

Now up: Sam Winchester

Disclaimer: Still don't own the show.

XXX

Sam grimaced as he watched Jo carefully consider and discard costume after costume. The sheer variety of costumes was kind of astounding, but considering how Sam wasn't exactly the holiday's biggest fan, it was mostly irritating.

"So, uh, find anything yet?" he asked casually, trying to ignore the stares he was getting from the other women searching for costumes. It was something he just seemed unable to get used to, though he probably should have by then. After all, amazingly handsome and insanely tall men tend to be pretty noticeable, especially in the women's section of a costume shop.

Jo frowned, shoving her hands in her jean pockets. "Not yet. Honestly, it shouldn't be _this_ hard to find a costume."

He shrugged, ignoring a nearby woman in an incredibly lacy French maid costume that was trying to make eyes at him. He knew Dean would call him a geek for not being interested, but really, the skimpy costume just wasn't doing anything for him. "You could always just not dress up."

Jo stared at him like he'd said wendigos made good pets. "Not dress up? Are you nuts? That's the best part!"

"Better than the candy?"

"Yeah! I can get candy anytime. How often do we get to dress up?"

He scratched his head. "In our line of work? Pretty damn often."

She glared. "Fine, how often do I get to dress up as something _other_ than law enforcement or a stripper?"

Sam frowned. "Why are you so fixated on this?" It took him a moment to realize just how rude that sounded. "Jo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

She gave him a sad smile. "Don't worry, I know what you meant. It's just that Halloween's always been my favorite holiday. When I was a kid, it made the things out there seem a little less scary, you know? I mean, you can dress up as something just as freaky, or something that could kick a monster's ass."

He nodded a bit. "Yeah, but you don't need to dress up for that. You can kick most monsters' asses any day of the year. You're kind of badass like that."

The flattered smile she gave him was actually kind of heart-melting, and he felt his annoyance start to dissolve. "I knew there was a reason you're my favorite Winchester. It's good to know there's someone out there that doesn't think I'm a schoolgirl." Her face lit up. "That's it!"

That made Sam worry. "Jo, while I'm sure you can pull it off, I don't think dressing up as a Catholic schoolgirl is a good idea."

He was surprised by her laugh and her astonishingly tight grip on his wrist as she lead him out of the women's section, past some girls dressed as sexy pirates, right into the accessories section. "Not that kind of schoolgirl, but I'm sure that would blow Dean's mind. I've got a better idea."

She quickly threw on a crucifix necklace, pulled her hair into a high ponytail, and grabbed a faux wooden stake. She smirked and struck a little pose. "How do I look?"

Sam couldn't help but stare. Her tight jeans, leather jacket and low-cut black tank top weren't out of the ordinary, but with the crucifix and the stake it all clicked in his mind. Badass. Schoolgirl. "Jo, are you…?"

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Damn straight!"

In that moment, Sam realized Dean had been right all along; he was a huge geek. Because, God help him, at that moment Jo had never looked hotter.

XXX

Ok, maybe not quite as funny, but I figured that if anyone could appreciate sexy-but-not-skimpy-and-totally-geek-icon-badass-girl, it would be Sam. He just seems like that kind of guy. So yeah, more sweet and less silly, but I still hope you were amused. Remember, suggestions are always welcome! Just name male character, costume, and if wanted a prompt line or line of dialogue you want included. Please review!

Soon: Gabriel


	3. Gabriel

So, I'm kind of sad that I got only one review for the Sam chapter. I thought people would like Jo dressed as Buffy and Sam embracing his geekdom! I do appreciate that one person, though, so thank you! Well, hopefully I'll get some reviews for this chapter, hint hint.

Currently: Gabriel

Disclaimer: I'm not Eric Kripke. 'Nuff said.

XXX

It was no surprise to anyone that, while he didn't invent it, Gabriel had at least been involved in the creation of Trick or Treating. Really, the whole concept of showing up at someone's house in disguise, threatening to make their lives miserable unless bribed otherwise with candy had the archangel's name written all over it.

And since the Trickster was both proud of his handiwork and an annoying git, he'd insisted on accompanying Jo when she told the guys she was going costume shopping. She really should have seen that coming.

Jo rolled her eyes as Gabriel noisily ate a bag of M&Ms uncomfortably close behind her. "Do you have to eat right behind me?" she grumbled.

He threw another handful into his mouth. "No, but you're cute when you're annoyed," he said, though it took Jo a minute to translate through the crunching.

"Don't talk with your mouth full. How much sugar have you had today, anyway?"

Gabriel swallowed and took a moment to think. "Um, six Tootsie Rolls, five Jolly Ranchers, three king-sized Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, two Tootsie Pops, a handful of Smarties, two bags of M&Ms not including this one, and oh! Are we counting non-candy? Because I also had three powdered donuts, six chocolate éclairs, a Root Beer Float, a Coke, and a Mountain Dew."

She felt queasy just hearing about it. "Congratulations. Your eating habits could put a hummingbird into a diabetic coma."

"Thanks, Sweet-Tart!"

"Isn't it supposed to be sweetheart?"

His shit-eating grin was just begging for a sucker-punch. "Sweet-Tart fits you better."

Jo frowned and attempted to ignore him in favor of shopping. Unfortunately, given his short attention span and love for ticking off the blonde, Gabriel wasn't having it.

With a snap of his fingers, the modest hem of the witch's dress she held shrank three feet. Jo glared at the dress but simply put it back on the rack without a word. Of course, the Trickster retaliated by turning the Slytherin necktie she was considering pink and orange, and then the poodle skirt she looked at started to bark.

Realizing the barking would attract unwanted attention, Jo gave up on the silent treatment. "Will you stop screwing with everything?" she hissed.

With another snap, the barking stopped. "It's what I do, Sweet-Tart. But I might be willing to stop my tricks in exchange for a treat." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Already Jo could feel a headache coming on. "I know I'm going to regret this, but what will it take to make you stop?"

He made a show of thinking. "Hmmm. What do I want? Oh, I know! You just have to try on a costume of my choosing. You do that and I'll quit my tricks until we leave. Deal?" Gabriel eagerly held out his hand to shake.

Jo eyed it like it might turn into a poisonous snake, which, knowing Gabriel, wasn't entirely out of question. "Just one costume?" He nodded. "Ok, I'll try on one costume, but I don't have to buy it."

He smiled. "Fair enough. I wouldn't make you spend your hard-earned money on something you don't love; I'm a wiseass, not a jackass."

Studying him for another few seconds, she finally determined his honesty and shook his hand. "Deal. You've got one shot, angel-boy; make it count."

Gleefully, the archangel started going through the women's section like a toddler on meth. He pulled out costume after costume, throwing each rejected garment to the floor. Jo pitied the poor stock boy who'd have to clean it all up. Finally, after much clanging and crashing, she heard a "Eureka!"

Before she could blink she was in the changing room with a mass of green and gold in her arms. She stared curiously at the enormous golden horned helmet, but reluctantly she proceeded to change. Once she looked in the mirror, though, she nearly screamed.

She viciously shoved the curtain aside. "Lady Loki? You dressed me up as the freaking sexed-up, female version of a comic book villain based on _you_?"

Gabriel, of course, was too busy laughing to answer her.

Fifteen minutes later Jo was back in her normal clothes and walked out of the store as the proud owner of a simple cowgirl costume. Gabriel had lived up to his end of the bargain, causing no more trouble for her and even giving her a lollipop a peace offering. Of course, what she didn't know was that he planned to replace it with the Loki costume as soon as they got home.

XXX

Because you just know Gabriel's got a big enough ego to love seeing a female version of himself. Hope you all enjoyed, but please be sure to let me know in a review! And feel free to offer suggestions for future chapters!

Ok, I'm really looking forward to the next one: Lucifer!


	4. Lucifer

I hope you all can forgive me for making Lucifer slightly OOC, but well, this is a humor fic, and let's be realistic; Lucifer in the show would probably never go Halloween shopping with a human, Jo or otherwise. So please forgive my taking creative liberties. However, I had a lot of fun writing this one, so please be sure to give me lots of feedback!

Disclaimer: Same as last time.

Now up: Lucifer.

XXX

"Do I have to be here?"

"Hey, it's not my fault you got stuck with this."

Lucifer pouted. Damn his Father for forcing him to amongst the humans! Double-damn Him for putting him under the watch of the Winchesters and their lot! And triple-damn them for forcing him to go shopping with Jo for some stupid costume! Why when he gets his hands on them…

"Oh quit moping," Jo growled. "The others didn't bitch about it."

He glared at the blonde hunter. "And yet when you asked for someone to come shopping with you they all immediately volunteered me and ran off. Besides, I want absolutely nothing to do with this pagan celebration."

Jo stopped pawing through the racks of costumes. "You're against Halloween? Why? It sounds like it'd be right up your alley."

He snorted. "How so?"

She counted off on her fingers. "Well, it celebrates scaring the hell out of people, indulging in gluttonous amounts of candy, sins of the flesh—"

Lucifer held up his hand. "Let me stop you right there, Ms. Harvelle. I may be the Devil to you humans, but I have very little interest in the Seven Deadly Sins. They're beneath me. Though I'll concede to the scaring part. That's fun any day of the year."

A thin eyebrow shot up in disbelief. "You don't subscribe to the sins?"

"I'm an angel, remember?"

It was true that Lucifer had shown a lack of traits typically associated with the sins. He only really ate when forced by his brothers or the Winchesters. He didn't care about money. He started the Apocalypse and led the legions of Hell, so she couldn't exactly call him lazy. Still…

"Then explain Gabriel."

"What better way to hide being an angel than indulging in everything we don't?"

Point for Satan. "Ok, but you can't tell me you're not prideful."

"I'm not."

Jo scoffed. Shopping could wait; she had a fight to win. "Please. As much as you claim to hate us, I'll bet you get a hard-on from the fact people practically worship you."

"I don't. Human opinions are worthless."

"They are not!"

"Then prove that I should be flattered by you humans obsessing over me."

If Jo had one weakness, it was that she couldn't back down from a challenge. And while she knew Lucifer was exploiting it, she couldn't pass up the chance to put the Devil in his place. "Fine. _Sympathy for the Devil_ is one of the greatest songs in the history of Rock and Roll."

"It blames me for wars that I had absolutely nothing to do with. I call that slander."

"School football teams have named you their mascot."

"And yet they never got my permission. Maybe I should sue."

Damn, the fallen angel didn't miss a beat. "The best kind of chocolate cake is called 'Devil's food.'"

"Which reminds me, what is it with you humans and giving desserts dangerous names? Is it some kind of counter-productive dieting fad?"

Ok, this was not working out like she'd planned. One more shot. "But you're one of the most popular Halloween costumes!" she argued.

He glared across the store at a display of Devil Horns. "I don't care what you humans think of me. You're all inferior, flawed creatures that mess everything up. You can't even get me right. The popular image of the Devil is actually Pan, the Greek god of nature."

He was right, but Jo wasn't going to let him win so easily. "Well, it's not like we can look at you angels outside your vessels anyway. Besides, there are other versions of you out there."

That earned an eye roll. "And I'm sure those are much more flattering."

"Hey, Sam told me that in Neil Gaiman's comic book series _Sandman_ you look like David Bowie. That's pretty cool."

"So I look like a human. So much better."

"Better than a half-man, half goat."

That actually got the barest hint of a smile out of him. "Well played. I still don't care what image you humans use of me. It's nothing compared to my true form."

Jo rolled her eyes. The guy really was pride incarnate. "Whatever. You still need to shut up and help me shop."

He groaned. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"The Apocalypse ring any bells?"

"You're not exactly changing my mind about it, you know."

Massaging her forehead, she sighed. "Look, Lucifer, I'll make you a deal."

The Devil actually smirked and leaned over her until their noses almost touched. "Sorry, my dear, but I'm not Crossroads demon. You'll have to try harder than that to get a kiss from me." He winked and pulled back, amused at the way the pretty hunter's face flushed.

Jo tried to ignore the way her cheeks heated up and the arrogant smirk on his subtly attractive face. "Shut up! I was going to say that if you're so eager to get out of here, you should help me pick a costume. Standing around bitching is just going to make me search slower."

He considered this before pushing her aside and grabbing a random costume off the rack. He shoved it into her arms without even looking at it. "Here."

She glared at him before noticing just what he had handed her. This caused her face to stretch into a grin so wide and sadistic Lucifer briefly wondered if she had been possessed by one of his children. This thought was interrupted by her deceptively strong hand grabbing his cold wrist and dragging him to the changing rooms. She gave him one last smile before vanishing behind the curtains.

Lucifer tapped his foot impatiently. "I thought you said if I picked a costume we'd leave?"

Her voice was slightly muffled by the curtain. "No, I said if you helped things would go faster. I didn't guarantee it would end. Besides, I have to make sure everything fits and looks good!"

Naturally, Lucifer had too much dignity to scream in frustration, but the idea was strangely appealing. The humans really were starting to rub off on him. "Well, hurry up."

"Ok, I hate to tell you this, but you totally just sounded like a human guy just now."

Before he could threaten her, she pushed back the curtain and struck a pose. The fallen angel actually needed a moment to process the image in front of him. There stood Jo, pale skin contrasting sharply with the sparkly red, body-hugging mini-dress. Attached to her dress was a matching pointed tail, and on her head were a pair of little red horns.

She smirked and twirled the little plastic pitchfork. "Well? How do I look?"

Lucifer's face was blank for a moment, then twisted in rage. His scream could probably be heard at Bobby's.

"_That's what you people think I look like?!_"

"Aww, I thought you didn't care about what we thought of you?"

It gave her tingles to see him struggle to find a response. She had won their argument hands down.

He seemed to realize this too and quickly changed tactics. "Are you saying you're so enamored with me that you'd dress up in my so-called image?"

It pleased him how effective it was. "What? You're the one who gave me the costume!"

He sauntered up to her, smirk adorning his lips. "So instead you're saying I could dress you up however I want? Interesting proposition."

"Shut up! The fact is you do care what we think about you; otherwise you wouldn't care about this costume. Therefore, I win." She stuck her tongue out at him.

He couldn't help the low chuckle that bubbled from his chest. "Touché, Joanna. Maybe I am as prideful as they say. Perhaps I should start indulging in the other six sins." He gave her a slow, meaningful once-over. "In fact, Lust is starting to look pretty good right now."

She blushed and took a half-step back. "Um, but didn't you say they're beneath you?"

He pulled her into his arms. Red rather suited the young hunter. "Well, you know what they say." Lucifer leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Don't knock it until you've tried it."

And with a flutter of wings, they were gone.

XXX

Ok, that didn't turn out quite like I expected. In my original hand-written draft I just had the kiss joke and it ended with him screaming about the devil costume. Then I started typing it and well, this happened. Hey, it's not my fault Lucifer's so sexy! And, well, part of me just couldn't bear having him lose the argument with Jo without getting something else, thus the sexy ending. Hope you all enjoyed!

I'll leave this next one up to you guys: Castiel or Bobby?


	5. Castiel

You know, I really should have expected everyone would want Cas. I mean, you don't need to be psychic to have predicted that! Unfortunately, as much as I love the guy, everyone's favorite Angel of Thursday is not exactly easy to write. I didn't want him sounding like an idiot, but I also needed to capture the stoic cluelessness that is Castiel. So I hope you all like it, and please forgive me if you feel I have dishonored him in any way.

Disclaimer: Look, if I did own it, Lucifer would be in every season and Jo wouldn't have died. So, obviously I don't own _Supernatural_.

Now up, because you demanded it: Castiel

XXX

Castiel did not understand the point of Halloween. From the way Dean had described it, it seemed to be a celebration of decadence while denying your true self. How could the humans indulge in such a holiday?

The costumes in particular baffled him. The shop he had been coerced into entering was filled with disguises; walls, racks, and shelves overflowed with monstrous faces, extravagant garments, and grisly props. The idea of pretending to be someone you're not, even in jest, was an alien concept to the Angel of Thursday. Perhaps that's why Jo had insisted on assisting him in selecting a costume. Dean was apparently planning some sort of party in celebration of the day, and had insisted that costumes were mandatory.

"What do you think, Cas? Werewolf or Vampire?"

He furrowed his brow at the blonde's question. "Both are unholy creatures that Sam and Dean hunt on a regular basis. Why would I wish to be either?"

Jo sighed. They'd been at it for an hour with no real breakthrough. She'd made dozens of suggestions, all of which had been innocently shot down by Castiel's questions and nit picking. They ranged from the pirate costume not being realistic to him not wanting to associate himself with witchcraft, thus eliminating any Harry Potter garments. "Come on, Castiel. There has to be something you wanna dress up as."

He shook his head and looked her in the eyes. "Joanna, I am an Angel of the Lord. I am as He made me. I do not wish to deny His work by discarding my identity and gallivanting about as something I am not. I am content with who and what I am. And," he hesitated, glancing away for a moment, "I thought you liked me the way I am, too."

Though it was well hidden, Jo could hear that tiny touch of insecurity in the angel's voice. It melted her heart just a little bit. She was beginning to suspect he'd been taking lessons from Sam. "Oh, Cas, it's not like that! I do like you the way you are! We all do."

"Then why do you desire to turn me into someone else?"

Ok, now she was certain that Sam had been teaching him his patented "puppy-dog eyes," because there was no way Castiel could have known how to give that look on his own. And that look combined with his enormous baby-blues was simply not fair on any level. Still, she had to smile at his innocence. "Because it's fun. You're always so serious, and while we love you for it, a guy like you deserves some fun. I mean, you've risked your life for us, defied Heaven, saved billions of people, and put up with the Winchester's antics on a nearly daily basis. Believe me, if anyone's earned a chance to let loose and have some fun, it's you."

Castiel, after a moment of consideration, nodded. "I think I am beginning to understand. However, I still do not wish to wear revealing clothing. I am still an angel, and I have no desire to partake in any sinful acts."

Jo giggled, grateful he was finally relaxing his standards. "Don't listen to Dean. Not everybody dresses like a skank."

"That is good to hear. I was concerned when Dean showed me a catalogue filled with indecent costumes. What will you be going as?"

After that little speech, she was insanely thankful she had gone for a non-slutty costume. "Alice from _Alice in Wonderland_. You know it?"

He nodded in approval. "Yes, I recall the books. They were…strange, but the language was oddly appealing."

She grinned. "Yeah, I loved the Disney movie as a kid. The Tim Burton version, not so much. I especially liked the tea party scene; the Mad Hatter ruled!" Her eyes suddenly lit up in inspiration. "Cas, I think I've got your costume!"

He tilted his head to the side in confusion as Jo started to frantically peruse the assortment of hats on display. "Oh?"

"You can be my Mad Hatter!"

He mulled it over. He did rather enjoy the story of Alice Liddell and her adventures in Wonderland, and he was certain that Jo would not endeavor to dress him inappropriately. "This would be an acceptable costume?"

She smiled, locating an appropriately wild top hat. "Definitely," she said as she carefully placed it on his head. Stepping back, she scrutinized him for a moment before giving him a thumbs-up. "Oh yeah. You look much hotter than Johnny Depp did."

Castiel gently touched the soft velvet of the hat. It was outrageous, but oddly comfortable. Still, he had his doubts. "Joanna, are you certain I can act the part? He was rather wild, after all, and I am decidedly not so. Dean can attest to that."

Jo giggled as she picked out an equally outrageous suit and bowtie. "Maybe, but it's more fun if somebody goes as something that matches. So you can be my Hatter, and that'll give me an excuse to stick by your side and protect you from the half-naked women Dean's inevitably going to try to hook you up with. Don't need my favorite angel being cornered by a bunch of rabid hookers, do I?"

He smiled, grateful beyond words for the hunter's promise. "Thank you, Joanna. I would like that."

She linked her arm with his. "Just call me Jo. Now come on; we need to find us a tea set!"

XXX

Hope you enjoyed that. I figured I'd switch things up and have Cas be the one trying to find a costume this time, though I may or may not write another one if I'm given a good idea (hint hint). Next up with be Bobby, and I will warn you, it will be full of gruffness and sweet daddy-daughter themed goodness. In other words, don't be surprised if you get cavities from it. Please review, and remember I'm always interested in ideas for upcoming chapters! I'm especially willing to use a pairing I've already done. Believe me, I'd love to do another Lucifer/Jo chapter if anyone has a good suggestion!

Oh, and if anyone's a fan of the Tim Burton version of _Alice_, I didn't mean to insult you, but well, not exactly my favorite movie. That's all I'm sayin'. But you gotta admit Cas would make a hotter Hatter than orange-and-white Johnny Depp.


	6. Bobby

Ah, Bobby Singer. The gruffest, most sarcastic father-figure in the show meets the headstrong and playful blonde girl. Truly this will be difficult. I might just have to draw on my own experience with my father. (Checks on dad watching baseball game) Hmmm, ok, my dad lacks gruff, but he makes up for it in sarcasm. I can work with that. Hope you all enjoy!

And now: Bobby

Disclaimer: Why no, I don't own _Supernatural_. Why do you ask?

XXX

"Jo, could ya hurry it up already? We've been here an hour and I don't trust those idjits alone in my house for this long."

The blonde hunter blinked. "Why not? You leave the guys alone all the time."

He scowled. "Yeah, but this time they've got Gabriel with 'em and knowin' my luck the feathery moron will get them all so hyped up on sugar they'll end up blowin' up my whole damn house."

Jo didn't even try to hide the sudden onslaught of giggles. "Oh, it won't be that bad! Besides, Cas is with them. I'm sure he can keep the peace for a little while longer."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "If you're wrong you owe me a new house."

"Well it wouldn't be taking so long if you didn't shoot down every outfit I showed you."

"Hey, you want my opinion then you take what I give ya and like it."

Jo sighed but couldn't help the small smile that touched her lips. As much as he growled and grumbled, it had been his idea to go shopping with her. Ever since her dad had died Bobby'd tried to act as a sort of surrogate father-figure, much like he had for the boys. It was usually pretty sweet of him to do so, given how far out of his comfort zone it brought him, but his gruff refusal to see her as anything but a little girl could get pretty irritating, especially in situations like this.

That didn't mean it wasn't fun to toy with him like she would a real dad, though.

With that in mind, she pulled out a frilly French maid uniform. "How about this?"

The look on his face was priceless. "You wear that an' I'll make ya clean every room in the house."

The maid outfit was gone in a blink. She had no desire to spend Halloween cleaning Bobby's mess of a house. Honestly, sometimes she felt the scrap yard out back was neater! She grabbed another costume. "Ok, then what about this?"

Bobby glared at the skimpy nurse uniform. "Put it back. I don't need Dean makin' suggestions about you two playin' doctor unless you want me t' send him on a one-way trip to the hospital."

She tried to suppress the smile at that one. "This?" She held up a glittery fairy costume.

"I've already got blood an' booze stainin' my carpet; I don't need glitter in the mix."

The vampire costume was also rejected. "You want me cuttin' off your head?"

As was the Playboy Bunny. "Featherbrain might confuse you for one of his imaginary strippers."

And the schoolgirl. "You ain't Catholic and you ain't wearing that."

And the slutty angel. "Jesus, Jo, are you trying t' make me kill every male in my house?"

Finally, Jo grew bored with her game. Fun as it was to watch Bobby get closer and closer to a rage-induced aneurism, she really did need a costume and she really wanted his approval, if for no other reason than to keep him from killing the guys. "Ok, Bobby, what do you think I should go as?"

He shrugged. "An Eskimo? It's warm, it's different. Most of all it's covered," he muttered to himself, though he could tell Jo had heard him.

"Too confining. We get attacked I won't even be able to move, much less defend myself."

"Well, what about Little Red Ridin' Hood? I seem to remember you lovin' that story as a kid."

Jo smirked and showed him the adult version of the costume.

"I take it back. Damn, they gotta pervert everything?"

"Wasn't the original version about rape and cannibalism?"

"Fair enough. Alright, go as a porcupine." He frowned as Jo burst into hysterics. "What? It'll keep Dean from touchin' ya, so I won't have t' worry 'bout hidin' his body."

After a few moments she managed to regain her breath. "Be serious, Bobby!"

"I am serious. Sam an' Cas may have enough sense not to touch ya', but Dean an' Gabe don't have half a brain put together when it comes to a pretty girl. I ain't lettin' nobody take advantage of my little girl."

It was hard not to cave at his gruff confession. "Bobby, quit worrying. You've trained me too well to let either of those idjits do anything but stare."

His frown deepened. "I don't want them even starin'! Nobody stares at my little princess. Now how 'bout a suit of armor?"

At his suggestion Jo blinked, then grinned. "How about a compromise?" Taking his hand, she grabbed something long and purple from the rack and led him to the dressing rooms. A few minutes later she emerged, pretty and proud in a shimmery princess gown.

Bobby stared and tried his best to repress a smile. Now that was the Jo he liked. Much as he loved "Daddy's Little Hunter," it was kind of nice to see her all dolled up and girly once in a while. After all, she was practically his, so why shouldn't he consider her his little princess?

Something was missing, though. "Hang on. You ain't done, yet." Heading over to the accessories department, he grabbed a gold tiara with plastic gemstones. He rushed back and placed in her hair. "Every princess needs a crown, right?"

The gesture earned him a kiss on the cheek, which in turn earned her a genuine smile from the old hunter. "Thanks Bobby," she whispered, but they both knew she really meant "Thanks Daddy." Then her impish grin returned. "So does this mean one of the boys can be my knight in shining armor?"

Bobby's scowl returned. "Only if you want me dressin' up like a dragon and hiding ya in a dark cave."

XXX

Ok, that was fun to write! Bobby's such an awesome character and I can totally see him getting all protective of Jo, even against the Winchester boys. His accent was kind of a pain, though. Hopefully I didn't overdo it, I tried listening to him in clips, but after a while it's all kind of guesswork. Despite that, I still enjoyed writing for him and Jo. Their dialogue was still way too much fun than should be allowed.

So, I don't really know who to write next. Balthazar maybe? Does anyone have a suggestion? Past pairings are accepted, but I'll need a costume suggestion to go with it. Please review!


	7. Balthazar

Kind of a short one, but I'd like to thank Silverspoon for the idea. Hope it meets your approval, even if it might not quite be what you had in mind. Blame Balthazar for that.

Disclaimer: I own seasons 1 and 5 on DVD. Does that count?

Now up: Balthazar!

XXX

"Oh come now darling, let me pick! I promise it won't be anything too naughty," Balthazar said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Listen, feather-boy, I've had it up to here with your suggestions!" Jo snarled.

"But you desperately need to learn what looks good and flaunt what my father gave you. I'm just trying to be a good little angel and help you out."

Blue eyes attempted to bore holes through the angel's vessel. "You're not helping, you're being a pervert. And those things you tried to force me into barely even count as clothes. There's a difference between flaunting and being mistaken for a hooker."

"But you could say that's your costume," he teased.

Jo resisted the urge to punch him. She was only putting up with his antics because Castiel had practically begged her to get him out of the house. What's worse, he'd apparently been learning how to give the puppy dog eyes from Sam, which in combination with his already big, beautiful blues was a dangerous weapon. She'd caved within seconds.

"Oh! How about a slutty nun? Bet I could help you break those pesky chastity vows, eh?" Balthazar chortled.

Now she was really getting tired of his games. "I'm not indulging your stupid fantasies, Balth."

He winked at her. "Trust me, darling, this is tame compared to my fantasies."

Suppressing the scream of rage and irritation, she wracked her brain for a way to end this shopping trip early. Suddenly, she found her solution. "Ok, angel-boy, let's compromise. You get to pick one aspect of my costume." She held up her hand as his mouth opened. "Let me finish. You get to decide if my outfit is glittery, lacy, or involves feathers, and I pick a costume that fits that requirement. Deal?"

She could tell Balthazar wanted to argue, but her stern glare made him reconsider. Moments like this made her so happy she inherited her mother's looks.

He thought it over for a few minutes. "Fine, but I have a condition of my own; we seal the deal with a kiss, crossroads-style. I won't steal your soul, and it will be no more than a kiss, I promise. I won't grope you or pin you to a wall in a mad fit of passion." His grin was nothing short of lecherous. "Not even if you beg me."

It dawned on Jo that dealing with Balthazar was kind of like dealing with Gabriel 2.0, only worse. The archangel had made passes at her, sure, but at least he had been more focused on being mischievous and annoying, though admittedly funny. Balthazar was just a nympho.

"Fine, one kiss." She pulled him down to her level by his blazer. "Let's get this over with."

The angel smirked, then leaned down to give her a surprisingly soft, tender kiss, moving his lips slowly across hers as if savoring the moment. She was completely caught off guard, and in her surprise actually kissed him back. _Damn you, brain,_ she thought. _What do you forsake me now?_

Finally, they broke apart, Jo shaking her head to regain her bearings. Balthazar just grinned at her, painfully smug. "You look a bit flushed, darling. Perhaps you're coming down with 'angel fever.' I assure you, it's not uncommon after meeting one as dashing as myself."

Jo tried to think of a comeback, but her brain was still not cooperating with her. Taking it as the perfect opportunity, Balthazar began perusing the racks, attempting to determine which aspect of Jo's costume would give him the highest chance of getting her in something skimpy. After all, that was what Halloween is all about, right?

After much deliberation, he finally turned to her, salacious grin on his face. "Feathers. I definitely choose feathers."

Pursing her lips, she nodded. A deal's a deal, after all. Carefully picking through the racks, she came across something feathery and yellow. Her mischievous could have given Gabriel a run for his money. Grabbing it quickly, she ran to the dressing room and hastily pulled it on, giggling in delight.

Balthazar stood patiently outside her cubicle, eagerly waiting for her big reveal. What would it be? French maid? Victoria's Secret angel? Skanky Big Bird?

The curtain opened, and his eyes widened in shock. There was Jo, the beautiful, feisty hunter, dressed in a full-sized chicken suit!

Jo laughed at his expression. "Yup! I'm definitely getting this one!" she chortled, triumphant.

Unfortunately, Balthazar once again broke into a lecherous grin. "Well, cluck-cluck, darling. Just call me Old McDonald, because that outfit on you makes me want to have more than just a farm."

In her attempt at a facepalm, Jo was rewarded with a mouth full of feathers. Lesson of the day? A true pervert like Balthazar would find something sexual about any costume. Freud would have a field day.

XXX

Um, oopse? I was originally going to make this fic into a moment of triumph for Jo over the sexuality of most Halloween costumes, but then I put Balthazar in it. And if anyone can find something hot about a giant chicken suit, it's him. I feel dirty.

Ok, so I'd like to write one for Adam or Michael, and maybe Ellen, but I can't seem to come up with any good ideas for them. Any suggestions? Worse comes to worse you may get another short Dean one, but I'd like to write for someone I haven't done before first. Oh, and I plan to continue this past Halloween, given how much fun these have been to write, so don't be surprised if I keep this up long after October 31. So keep reviewing and sending in ideas!


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